Karachi – messy, slightly dangerous and hot as hell – it’s a place that will infuriate you and seduce you.
This is as cosmopolitan as Pakistan gets. – you’ll meet all sorts in Karachi.
Karachi-ites have a high opinion of themselves.
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You will become blasé about security.
Sure, armed guards are the norm and you instinctively avoid no-go areas but, in general, life goes on. When strikes, muggings and the like are so common it’s difficult to maintain a heightened level of worry.
Concerned relatives from out of town will phone you after a scary news report but you’re likely to be at a restaurant or GT when they call. No changing plans unless bullets are actually flying - and if they are, you'll be so practiced that you can have the shutters down and the drawbridge up in under 10 minutes.
Danger? What danger?
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You will become lazy and totally dependent on your maid
When your maid doesn't come back from her day off.
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You may have cleaned your whole house, done the laundry, shopped for groceries AND cooked when you were abroad but now you’ll resent having to go down to the kitchen yourself to get a cup of tea.
You will get robbed
Consider it a rite of passage and pray that you get off lightly.
Hopefully the worst that will happen is that someone will steal your wallet or phone at gunpoint. Some traffic signals are notorious for this and I have an uncle who faced a gun at two consecutive traffic signals. Hopefully you won’t be kidnapped or have your home invaded by robbers but in a city like Karachi there are no guarantees.
You will definitely know someone who’s gone through this horrible ordeal.
Your wardrobe will gradually turn beige and white
Desinger Shamaeel Ansari | Nida Azwer's Arabesque collection.
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Your driving will deteriorate
Karachi's pick and mix attitude to traffic laws will get to you sooner or later.
Most drivers ignore traffic rules completely and operate on the principal of “might is right”. The horn is king and giving way is unheard of.
You can try to stick to sensible driving practices but it’s likely that one day you will decide, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”.
You will realise that electricity and running water are luxuries
When the water tanker doesn't turn up and you want to shower.
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You will come to rely heavily on your electricity generator and your water tanker wallah.
You'll become surgically attached to your sunnies
Essential for posing but even more essential for hiding from the blazing sun.
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You will lose weight
Karachi subscribes wholeheartedly to the adage that “you can never be too rich or too thin”.
The average socialite in Karachi is significantly lighter than her counterparts in other parts of Pakistan. You'll find yourself joining the gym or an exercise class or downloading diet plans.
If you're coming from abroad, you’ll drop a few pounds from the repeated stomach infections that you'll get as your body develops immunity to our local bugs.
You will realise that 'chai pani' is necessary to get anything done
You thought you could get it done without paying a bribe?
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Your friends will become your extended family
You'll make great friends.
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You will make very dear friends who will be like family.
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